ARG!

I can't even begin to explain how badly I want a cigarette right now.

For the most part I quit years ago. 3, maybe 4 now. I don't really remember. But every now and then I would still sneak one at a party. Or more than one when some guy or another broke my heart. But usually it would make me feel like shit and I would not get hooked again.

But then my brother died and I strarted smoking again in earnest. Not just smoking. I started really enjoying it. Really. Enjoying.

I had my last cigarette on Sunday. After getting back from the gym. I swore I was done. I was not buying another pack. It was time to get serious about the tri, and smoking is entirely counter to my efforts.

But damn I still want one.

So bad.