Shut up and run.

I've heard people say they like to exercise because it gives them time to think, or to workout frustrations/agressions. Personally I find thinking while exercising to be very distracting. When I started running last spring I had this mantra- shut up and run. Because the minute my feet hit the pavement the chatter would start in my brain. Wondering if I looked silly, being annoyed by the strap on my sports bra that WILL NOT stay up on my shoulder, wondering what I should eat for lunch, wondering if this was EVER going to get any easier, and on and on and on. It was really hard to get into the flow with all that noise. And then one day I just told myself "Shut up and run." And it was amazing, like everything went quiet and I ran. I recall it being a good run that day.

Most days I am able to keep that mindset going. No thinking. Just breathing. Just zone out, enjoy the music on my mp3 player, just go. But today my thoughts got the better of me. I was running on a treadmill downtown. And week 3 of C25K was rather killing me and I was looking out the window at Orchestra Hall and my mind wandered and I thought about my brother's funeral. In the middle of my dad's eulogy he played a recording of a classical piano piece Pete had written. When it was finished everyone applauded. Hundreds of people. And I started thinking again how I should have been hearing that applause at someplace like Orchestra Hall, not his damn funeral. And my throat got tight and I was choking back tears which made that really hard training session just that much harder. I cried the whole way home on the bus, thankfully hidden behind an enormous pair of sunglasses.

Next time I have to remember to just shut up and run.